


(Not So) Blind Date

by LouiseLouise



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Buddietines Week (9-1-1 TV), First Kiss, Getting Together, Grindr Date, M/M, Misunderstandings, Valentine's Day, see the notes for details about the mature rating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29468172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouiseLouise/pseuds/LouiseLouise
Summary: Prompt:Blind date + Eddie arranges a date with the guy he’s been chatting with on Grindr. Turns out that the arms in his date’s profile picture actually belong to his best friend, Buck.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 342





	(Not So) Blind Date

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [2020 Buddietines Week](https://buddietinesweek.tumblr.com/post/190242714173/buddietines-week-prompts) day 6 prompt: Blind Date. Yes it's a year late but better late than never, right?!
> 
> The rating is for NSFW words and thoughts, but no sex scene actually occurs in the story.
> 
> Thank you [marciaelena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marciaelena) for the wonderful beta. All remaining mistakes are mine, English is not my first language.

The upside of being on a 24 hour shift during Valentine’s Day is that at least Eddie has a ready-made excuse for not trying to find a date. 

"I don't think anyone outside our line of work would enjoy having dinner at 10pm, as a first date _and_ on Valentine’s Day of all days," he says when Bobby asks.

The downside of being on a 24 hour shift during Valentine’s Day is that almost every emergency they get called to is a reminder of how lonely and single he is while being desperately in love with his best friend.

"Buck found someone," Hen points out, and Eddie hates her a little for the reminder that Buck does have a love life and Eddie's not included.

As their shift ends, Eddie watches every one of his teammates go home for the late romantic evening they’ve spent the last weeks planning. Each of his teammates, including Buck, which is probably what Eddie dreaded the most: the moment when life would make it clear that his daydreams are pointless. He tells himself it’s for the best. At least now he knows he needs to move on.

His phone buzzes, and he opens Grindr to see a message from the stranger he’s been chatting with, hoping it’d be enough to fill the void in his life and his bed, and take his mind off of Buck. 

_Still on for tonight? My place in an hour?_

Eddie grins at the text on his screen. He may not have a date, but he does have someone waiting for him. No candles or soft music, just the promise of a night of hot meaningless sex with a stranger named _HotDamnLA_. And for tonight that’s all Eddie needs. 

All he’s seen of the guy are his arms and his ass, and somehow that’s plenty enough. The thin lines tattoed on the stranger’s arm reminds Eddie of Buck, and if that’s how Eddie deals with his stupid crush, nobody needs to know.

He just want to fuck his feelings away once and for all, and go back to work with that crush behind him. To get rid of the awkward twist in his gut every time Buck sits too close to him. Every time their fingers brush when passing a dish during dinner, or an axe during a call. Every time Buck does something amazing for Christopher and Eddie has to stop himself from asking him to just move in with them.

The text comes with a picture of a very nice dick, and for once Eddie doesn’t second guess his decision. 

_Yes._

For once he allows himself to act without playing every worst case scenario in his head. He knows it’s a little bit pathetic to pick a guy because his tattoo looks like Buck’s. Because his ass could be Buck's. Because he wants to touch and lick and pretend he can have his best friend underneath him, just for one night. And then, be done with it.

The man on the other side of the screen has his own reasons, and neither one of them is going to ask. It’s an arrangement where both parties win and no one gets their feelings hurt.

So he shouldn’t care if it’s pathetic or not. He wants, he _needs_ , to take his mind off of the ongoing mess of these unrequited feelings he’s been harboring for way too long now. It makes working alongside Buck awkward and pizza nights uncomfortable. 

Sometimes old problems require modern solutions.

 _What's the address?_

The answer comes quickly, and it's not one Eddie’s prepared for. He stares at the street name, unable to look away, until the screen goes black again. He doesn’t need to look any more, anyway; he knows that address by heart. Buck's address, down to the apartment number. And he knows Buck lives alone, so there’s no doubt in his mind who the message is actually coming from.

He lights up the phone again, pulling up the man’s profile and the faceless photographs, searching for clues he might have missed. He stops on the one with the tattoo, a tattoo so common it could've literally been anyone. 

Except it’s not just anyone. It’s Buck.

He scrolls again through the few messages they exchanged and the pics _HotDamnLA_ sent him, until his thumb slides on the screen, brushing against that last picture he received, and Eddie jolts like he’s been burned and almost drops the phone out of embarrassment.

The dick, like the tattoo, belongs to Buck.

Of all the people on this app, of course Eddie had to choose him. He closes his eyes, hoping to banish the memory of those pictures from his mind, but he can feel his face flare up as he struggles pushing the dirty thoughts away, the anticipation of his tongue licking that dick and wondering how it would feel in his mouth. 

The last thing Eddie needed is to have such intimate knowledge of his friend’s anatomy, but it’s too late now. Now all he can do is damage control, starting with cancelling their night. Then he can deal with his own feelings, and figure out how he's going to face Buck the next time they see each other. 

The only good thing is, at least he doesn't need an elaborate excuse, just something polite and neutral. 

_Sorry, family emergency. I need to cancel._

_Everything okay?_

Of course Buck would be concerned about his booty call’s family emergency. Eddie shakes his head, typing another message. 

_Nothing big, just urgent._

_Okay. Take care. And you know where to find me if you want to take a raincheck._

Eddie snorts. No, he doesn’t want to take a raincheck. He’s not going to show up on Buck’s doorstep to reveal the truth and hope they can still be friends, he's going to find another way to move on from his crush. Any outlet that doesn't involve fighting or fucking will do. So Buck doesn’t need to know. And, very selfishly, Eddie doesn’t want to get his heart broken as his friend tries to justify why nothing could ever happen between them. How he doesn’t want Eddie _that_ way.

Or worse, maybe Buck would want Eddie that way. The one night stand way. Maybe he’d want to deliver on all the promises _HotDamnLA_ made to _Texass88_. And maybe it could be enough for Eddie to have Buck for just one night. Or maybe it would just be a reminder of what he’ll be missing for the rest of his life. Because he wants everything with Buck, every night and every day. Or nothing beyond what they already have. Eddie would never be satisfied with a one night stand.

 _Thanks_ , he sends back, guilt and regrets weighing on his mind. Nothing good ever comes out of lies. Nothing good can be built on hidden truths. Even if it seems like the only way to protect someone.

Before he can figure out what he’s going to do with his now free evening, his phone buzzes again, with a text from Buck. His Buck, this time. 

_My date cancelled, can I come over?_

And seconds later. _I have beer._

Eddie snorts. This evening is getting stranger by the minute, but he’s not one to pass on an opportunity to spend it with Buck after all.

_If you have beer then…_

-

By the time Buck gets there, Eddie has taken a shower to try and clear his thoughts and reset his expectations for the evening. Tonight has become a night like any other with Buck, two friends sharing beers and pizza and nothing else. He’s changed into comfortable sweatpants and is almost done ordering the food when Buck lets himself in using his spare key. 

“Hey,” Buck says.

“The usual?” Eddie asks, waving his phone.

Buck nods and toes off his shoes before joining Eddie on the couch. Eddie focuses on the delivery app like it's the most important thing in the world, his mind struggling to keep the effect the naked pictures of Buck have on him at bay.

“Sorry about your date,” he says, forcing himself back into friendship mode. If Buck needs to pretend he had a date and not a booty call, Eddie has no reason to call him out on it. 

Buck sighs. “Okay, so it wasn’t a _date_ date. Just some guy I met online. And our plans didn’t really involve dinner and a movie, if you know what I mean.” He shakes his head and Eddie catches sadness fleeting across his face. “He cancelled right after I sent him some explicit pics, which somehow hurt my feelings when no feelings were supposed to be involved. At all.”

“Hey,” Eddie says, “his loss.” 

Buck shrugs, and Eddie wishes he could tell Buck that those pictures would’ve definitely not made him cancel had they actually belonged to a stranger. He wishes he could make Buck see how anyone would be happy to have him.

“It’s okay, I’m fine.”

“Are you, really? I mean, it’s been a while since you’ve used dating apps just for hookups. What changed?”

Buck stays silent for a minute, suddenly revealing a lack of confidence he rarely lets show. “I was feeling lonely. I don’t know, it’s like everyone around me is paired up and I’m just here on my own like a loser.”

“That makes two of us, I guess” Eddie says, going for a cheerful tone and instantly regretting his words.

“Shit, no. Sorry,” Buck says, hiding his face in his hands.

“Don’t be.” Eddie takes one of Buck’s hands in his, pulling it away to uncover his face and waiting until his friend turns his head and looks at him. “I feel that way too. Not always, but...”

“Often enough that you wonder if it’s ever going to change?”

Eddie nods, letting go of Buck’s hand with reluctance. He doesn’t feel that lonely when Buck’s around, doesn’t miss the romance, or the sex that much. Even if in this moment his entire body is drawn towards Buck, even if he wants nothing more than to hold him the way he would have _HotDamnLA_ , Eddie would be happy with just what they already have if it could last forever. “Hey, like I said, his loss, my win. I’m glad you came here tonight.”

“Yeah, me too,” Buck says, a smile returning to his face.

The doorbell rings at the same time Eddie’s phone buzzes, the screen displaying the picture of a happy Christopher. Eddie remembers taking that picture in the park the day Buck and him surprised the kid with the skateboard, a day well spent with the two most important people in his life.

“I’ll get the door,” Buck says, quickly standing up. “You talk to your son.”

Eddie picks up the phone and listens to Christopher tell him about his day, all the while watching Buck deal with the pizza delivery, grabbing the cardboard boxes and tipping the guy, then closing the door and walking back towards him to put the pizzas down on the coffee table.

“Switch?” Eddie asks, handing out the phone so Chris can say goodnight to Buck too. 

It feels easy, like they’ve done this every day, like it’s what they’re meant to be doing every day for the rest of their lives. It feels like home, and it’s breaking Eddie’s heart to know that one day Buck will find someone and build a family of his own, and Eddie will be left alone again.

He shakes his head as if he could make those sad thoughts go away, and heads to the kitchen to get paper towels. Enjoy the moment, he tells himself. Stop dreading a future that isn’t here yet.

He comes back to the living room to find Buck very quiet and staring at the phone.

"Something’s wrong with Chris?"

Buck slowly lifts his head, turning the screen towards Eddie, though Eddie's still too far to see whatever’s on it. "You're Texass88?" 

Oh.

Shit.

“I can explain.”

“You cancelled.”

“Buck. Let’s sit down, okay?”

Buck shakes his head, not making a move from where he's standing across the room. “There was no family emergency. You saw it was me and you cancelled.”

“Yeah.”

Buck bites his lip, and Eddie wishes he could read his friend’s mind and prepare for however Buck’s going to react. 

“I sent you…” Buck lifts his head, staring at Eddie, who nods. “And you cancelled.”

“Of course I cancelled, Buck, what else was I supposed to do? Come over to see the disappointed look on your face when you opened the door, expecting someone else? And it’s not because of the pictures, if that’s what really matters to you out of all this.”

“I should leave. You-- you didn't want me here tonight, I just invited myself like I always do. I’m sorry. I’m gonna--”

“I did, though,” Eddie says, the words leaving his mouth before he can stop himself, and Buck freezes in his tracks just short of reaching the door. It’s too late to take it back; now all Eddie can do is be honest. Open his heart and trust it won’t ruin everything. “I did want you here tonight. Not _HotDamnLA_. You. But he was all I could get, so I just thought, why not, you know?”

Buck tilts his head. “You want me?”

Eddie nods, the words stuck in his throat, entangled in the fear of making them permanent by saying them out loud again. The fear of losing Buck. But after everything they’ve been through, Eddie owes it to both of them to be brave and face the consequences of his feelings.

“I do.”

Buck closes his eyes. “Shit, I don’t know what to say, I… I never thought you--”

“You don’t have to say anything, it’s okay.” It’s not okay, none of this is even close to okay; and no matter how much he expected rejection, Eddie’s heart is still breaking, bit by bit. But what else is he supposed to say? “I know this is not what you want, which is exactly why I never meant for you to find out.”

“No,” Buck says, his eyes back on Eddie. “You don’t understand, this is exactly what I want, what I’ve been wanting for a long time now.”

Eddie frowns. “What part of this mess have you been wanting?”

Buck takes a few steps towards Eddie, smiling. “You, Eddie. I want you, the way you want me.”

Eddie’s heart shatters, but this time in the best possible way. “You do?”

When Buck nods, Eddie takes the last steps towards him until they’re standing in front of each other, somewhere between the couch and the front door. He takes his time, diving into the deep blue sea that are Buck's eyes staring back at him, shining with hope.

He takes his time until he can't wait anymore, and with his hand pressing on Buck's neck he pulls him closer, close enough to press their lips together and finally feel the bliss that is kissing Evan Buckley. 

"I dreamed of this for so long," Eddie says, his lips chasing after Buck's mouth, whispering in between kisses. "But…"

Buck pulls away, frowning. "Eddie, if you’re about to tell me this is just for one night I don't think I ca--"

Eddie shakes his head no. "I want every night and every day with you, Buck, if you'll have me. But I need to know that's what you want too."

"I do, I want everything with you," Buck says, and Eddie feels his heart pounding in his chest as he hears the words out loud. "Just… is it okay if we take our time tonight? I know I made some promises, but…”

Eddie smiles. “You didn’t, Buck. _HotDamnLA_ did, to _Texass88_. But they’re not really us.”

“They’re a little bit us. And we wouldn’t be here without them.”

Eddie chuckles. “Yeah, you’re right. And I’m sure we’ll figure out a way to repay them. But only when we’re ready.”

Buck smiles and Eddie leans in to kiss him some more. He doesn't need candles or soft music to celebrate, and he doesn’t care about hot meaningless sex. There's no void to fill in his life anymore. All he needs is to know that he has someone waiting for him, someone who feels the same way he does. All he needs is pizza, beers, and enough love to last a lifetime. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You can find it here [on tumblr](https://theladyandthewolves.tumblr.com/post/643210527672270848/not-so-blind-date).
> 
> I will treasure every kudos, comment and emoji ♥


End file.
